Unscheduled Maintenance
by Bellossom Ranger
Summary: Another story created due to another maintenance period. Joyous. Sequel to "Hold On, We're Down for Maintenance!" (And yes, I apologize if I misspelled maintenance last time.)


Well, I got hit with an 'unscheduled maintenance' during my fun times with the Pink Bean character I made. I'm SERIOUSLY considering going back to Wizard101, considering that they at least do their maintenance periods at night when I'm asleep and they only last a few hours. How a 2-D MMO with low-res graphics and no voice acting takes MUCH LONGER TO BE DOWN FOR PATCHES than a 3-D MMO with high-res graphics and VOICE ACTING is beyond me. *throws arms up in rage*

Anyways, time for a sequel to my LAST such fanfic. I plan on a SERIOUS MMO crossover soon but for now, this will keep my rage in check. X(

WARNING: Unlike the last one, this is a R-rated fic due to mild profanity and some sexual antics behind locked doors. Don't lynch me, okay? ;)

 **= Unscheduled Maintenance =**  
 **= A humorous Maplestory parody with some KingsIsle hijinx =**

Mark was downing another cup of coffee - it was all that could keep him awake at this time of the night. He was seriously considering transferring to KingsIsle but remembered that they didn't have admins in their games. Besides, he didn't want to risk life and limb in Khrysalis or Skull Island.

"Hard night?" muttered a groggy voice. It was Jill.

"Yeah," grumbled Mark, slamming his cup to the saucer hard enough to crack it. "Seriously, the higher-ups just HAD to pull us out for a stinking 'unscheduled maintenance!' Why?"

"Minor patch update," said Jill, doing air quotes with her fingers. "Turns out a gremlin was in the 1.65 patch which blocked trade with several accounts, so they couldn't get their items from the Item Storage. Turned out to be a gremlin which convinced the Item Scrooge and his union to go on strike, and without their aid, nobody could get their stuff out of the safes."

"Damn workers' unions," grumbled Mark.

Max stumbled in, covered in bandages and bruises. "Finally got the hostage situation under control. Thank goodness all those Pink Bean clones got together with Neinheart and Alcaster to break up the picket line and force them into a compromise deal. Ugh! I'm tempted to quit - I just got a better offer from EA."

"Oh no, you did NOT go there," said Mark in disgust.

"Sims 4 burn?" said Jill.

"And how," said Mark, waving a box with the new Sims 4 expansion in it. "It's not what I want - parties? Seriously Max, if you betray us for QueerA, I'm deleting you from my phone contacts."

Max sighed and slumped onto the table. "I know, I know... I didn't say I'd take the position as QA, but this job is thankless."

Cassandra came in with an angry face and slumped on the table as well. "You said it, brother. I had JUST set up my lemonade stand and those goons upstairs had to shut it down for 3 and a half hours just because of this stinking trade strike! What's worse, Beefy got into an uproar because the high-ups are removing Beefy Coins from the game for a temporary period. They say that the Item Scrooge's son had irradiated the damn things to cause a bio-weapon scare. He's a terrorist in the making, I tell ya!"

"Well, at least they're going to compensate players by giving them a free Character Expansion Slot coupon for a world," said Mark. "Even so, I think they need to get their priorities corrected."

"And they're fixing the Maple Event Book," said Jill. "You can't believe how annoying it was to appear in a game window and say 'hello, event season is here again' a zillion times - don't you think the player would know that the Event Book is available?"

"At least the Black Crew and the others are having fun times, unlike us," said Max. "I've called up Francis's cell, but it hit his answering machine. Probably having a date with Orchid while the time lasts..."

 _"And it looks like you're getting the sabotage again. Belly up!"_

"Oh no!" cried Empress Cygnus in horror. "That poor chef got sabotaged a THIRD time! There's no way he can even cook his meal much less win!" Suddenly she transformed into Evil Cygnus. "Mwa ha ha! That Alton Brown is an EVIL GENIUS! I want him as my personal chef!"

"Oh YES Orchid, slide into me HAAAARD! UH!" Francis's cry of passion rocked the throne chamber, punctated by moans and heavy breathing.

"Ugh!" said Dark Mihile. "Why did we have to have THOSE two come here and hog the royal suite for their love-making?"

"Yeah, that's too raunchy even for a pirate like me," grumbled Dark Hawkeye.

Dark Oz sighed and leaned on her staff. "You know why - they begged to have their date here to avoid the heckling of the Black Crew. They knew that if they started having sex in Magnus's place while the Black Crew was listening, they'd make videos and black-mail the poor saps to oblivion. At least we have standards."

"We're supposed to be corrupted with evil," said Dark Irena.

"Yeah, but..." said Dark Oz, who was interrupted.

"FRANCIS! OOOOOOOOOOH!" Orchid screamed in ecstasy.

Dark Oz sweatdropped. "Maybe we were a bit hasty agreeing to this."

"Let them have their fun in the bedroom," said Evil Cygnus, chuckling as she watched the hapless cook on screen stumbled around the campsite while blindfolded and in the fake rain. "Nobody uses that bedroom anyways since it is so dark and you could poke out your eye. Francis and Orchid adapt well to darkness. Besides, they need to have fun after having to do those roles over and over again. You know how many times Orchid has to get her butt handed to her by all those Mercedes that storm Verne Mine?"

Dark Eckhart sighed. "Even though I walk in the dark, even I find things like this disturbing." He walked to the double doors leading into the suite and cracked it open, seeing Orchid and Francis splayed naked on the bed, Orchid lying on top of her lover. "Are you done with your sexplay?"

Orchid groaned and got off the bed, facing the doorway. Eckhart quickly shut it to avoid looking at her naked body. "Go away, troll. I can [censored] Francis when I want!"

Suddenly a light filled the room and the Dark Knights turned into their light forms. "NVM, I just got word from Neinheart. He wants us back in Ereve, the strikes over and in an hour the servers will be back up. Are you coming, Empress?"

Cygnus snorted. "Once this episode of Camp Cuthroat is over, I'll alert the two in the orgy to get washed and dress and return to their spots within the hour. I want them to have one more coitus to fuel my evil lusts while I watch this poor sap get eliminated. Bwa ha ha ha!"

"Oookay," said Hawkeye. "Just be sure not to be evil too long. Shinsoo will get worried if you aren't back and the higher-ups might think you're glitched. Remember that time just before the major update when all the monsters froze up and heroes were trapped in the fields?"

"Yeah yeah," said Cygnus. The Knights teleported away.

"An hour before we have to go back to our roles?" groaned Orchid from the doors. "Ugh, this unscheduled maintenance was too short!"

"Come on, Orchid darling," growled Francis. "We still have a lot of time to get nasty before we have to wash and dress... let me unleash my passions on you once more... and then... well, how about we go to Amoria for a quick ceremony?"

Orchid gasped. "Francis... are you... serious?"

"Yeah, I want to marry you, darling," said Francis. "You're the only thing that keeps me sane - playing my role as someone whose love for you is unrequited every time someone goes through Friendstory makes my love for you and my lust towards you much stronger... let's make it official before we go back to the roles. Please, will you marry me?"

"Oh Francis, baby! You don't have to say a word, let me show you my answer!" She giggled and Cygnus heard her licking Francis's genitals.

"Oh ORCHID! OOOOOH!"

Cygnus cackled. "Oh, this is awesome... I could..."

 _"We eliminate... Sarah."_

"WHAT?!" Cygnus burst into flames. "JACKSON WAS SABOTAGED FOUR TIMES AND _STILL_ GOT THROUGH THE ROUND!? YOU JUDGES SUCK!"

Francis and Orchid ran out of the room, buck naked, and gasped in horror. "Cyg!"

"Yikes!" cried Orchid, hugging Francis tightly.

Soon the flames died down... but not before destroying the TV... and the nice Empress turned around and gasped, blushed, and covered her eyes. "Please... put some clothes on!"

The two turned and Francis blushed but Orchid smirked and gave him a deep kiss. "Let's get cleaned up, dress, and go to Amoria right away. We can finish our love-making in the wedding hotel there."

"Good idea," said Francis, rushing into the room before anyone saw his wang.

Cygnus watched Orchid waltz inside and held her forehead. "I think... I'd better go back to Erver too. I need Shinsoo's healing to bleach my brain after seeing what I did." She retched.

"And next time... I'm NOT letting these two in my bedroom again!"

[End]


End file.
